Urge to kill rising… (yes again)

So today I was stopped briefly in traffic on the freeway on the way to work and the dude ahead of me sticks his hand out his window palm down with his fist wrapped around something crumpled. I’m all, don’t do it. DON’T! DO! IT! But then he straightens his fingers and the crumpled garbage floats to the ground and I’m screaming “nooooooo!” in slow motion, pounding on the steering wheel, and generally not taking the whole thing too well. I wanted to lay into my horn. But instead I did nothing but stew in my anger and wish for a laser guided missile strike.

This reminds me of quick story. Worst litter out the window story ever actually. It was me and Reeves driving back from a track event in Southern Ca. on I-5. I’m pulling a car trailer with my Corvette in it and he’s following me in his Corvette. I blow a tire on the trailer and pull over onto a wide expanse of weeds on the side of the road. Reeves pulls outside of me on the grass and hops out. We begin the process of taking the wheel off the trailer. Then we’re like, “holy mother of god, what is that smell!?” Turns out Reeves had run over a diaper that some upstanding citizen had tossed out a car window. On the freeway. A full to the brim diaper that had exploded inside his wheel-well when he drove over it. This had us both gagging and retching and saying unchristian things, but it was worse for Reeves since he had to drive the car to the next stop and then hose it out. Gah.

Holy crap, (no pun intended) why throw your litter our your window? Worse, why throw your childs poo out your window? Explain this to me. How hard is it to put your trash in a trash can the next time you stop? Chances are there’s a trash can within a few feet, where ever that might be. Think about. Rest stops. Gas stations. Starbucks. Fast food. Malls. Even stores that sell trash cans have trash cans out front.

I say bring back the stockade. If you’re caught littering we all get to pelt you with whatever you tossed out your window. I wouldn’t want to touch the diaper, but for this I’d get some welding gloves and a close pin and have at you. Then you would be transformed from a virtual to a literal shithead. And it would be well deserved. So there.