My new car is a 1997 Geo Metro. It has 195,000 miles on it. And I paid $1.00 for it. Everything is manual. Windows. Locks. It has thread worn (and loved) cloth seats. The drivers side mirror moves every time I shut the door. The radio doesn’t work (which I’m going to fix with some gear I have in the garage, including a couple tens and three amps and a new head unit off eBay).

But I like it. Surprisingly.

We “bought” it from Bunny’s parents, who didn’t need it any more. I financed it through my credit union. I had to pay 100% interest on the loan. I paid it off with a Stabucks Latte. Smogging it cost eighty times the cost of the vehicle.

I’ve been driving it because it gets over three times the mileage my truck gets. Up to 40 mpg. My truck gets about 13 mpg and costs about $100.00 to fill up. I filled the geo up the other day for $16.00.

If you know me, you know that this car is so not me. It has thirteen inch wheels for fek’s sake. As a good friend said, that car is so not you – your Volkswagen Bug was a cooler car than this. The Bug was my first car. It was a 1973 Super Beetle with a bent frame, heat that barely worked, and when it rained it would leak above the accelerator pedal so on those days I would take my shoe and sock off when driving. My right foot is still cold to this day. Finally it caught on fire, though it survived and poor me (financially and otherwise) drove it all scorched up for a couple years afterward. It smelled like wet moldy socks smoldering in an open fire. I truly hated that car, though it did look nice (well, before the fire) because it had a nice pretty navy blue paint job. The picture below is not of my Beetle, but other than the color it looked the same.

The Geo is actually fun to drive. Seriously. Well, within certain parameters of course. Now I know your Frappuccino just shot out your nose, but it is fun to drive when you have no expectations of said fun. When you expect horribility, and you don’t find it, you may find funnability. I did in this case. The fun comes from its size – its truly tiny. I’m pretty sure it would fit in my truck. In the backseat. It weighs around 1800lbs. As a comparison, my Corvette weighs around 3100lbs, my Titan weighs around 5000lbs, my ex-Hummer H2 weighed 6400lbs, and a BMW 335 weighs around 3800lbs. This makes it fun to toss around. It sports a burly 80hp. Acceleration is, well, not brisk, but its drivable, and it’s so easy to park its awesome. Try parking my truck sometime in a tight spot. Can you say fifty point turn?

What’s fun is the sensation of speed. You feel like you’re in a rocket car on the salt flats going for a world record when you’re cruising at highway speeds. When flying (and understeering) around corners, tires squealing, you can feel how light weight it is. Pure fun. Not like my Corvette which can be scary at the limit by threatening to oversteer and swap ends on you.

On the freeway in the Geo, you’ve mashed the pedal down and are screaming along thinking holy crap I’m going fast, look at me, and you look down and you’re going 63mph and someone’s gramdma in a thirty year old Caddy floats past you and flips you the bird. If you hit 75, things start rattling. If you hit 80, you’re in a Apollo capsule during atmospheric reentry and the leading edge of the vehicle is glowing orange, paint is ablating off and flying past the window, your glasses vibrate off your face and you get a little worried so you ease gently off and just let ornery grandma disappear off into the hazy distance. Honking the horn at Grandma doesn’t help, the horn would embarrass a moped.

Oh I’ll get you Grandma. Oh, yes I will. Just let me turn the air conditioning off and wait for a tail wind and a long downhill stretch of road, and I’ll get you. And I’ll get 40 mpg doing it.